Mental respite

This weekend was supposed to be a creative, fun getaway for me, but alas, the event was canceled. So, I've got this afternoon and all day tomorrow open all of a sudden, and I'm trying to figure out how best to use the time. (I promise myself I won't waste it all on the computer - I WON'T!)

I'm always torn when I have time like this. Is it fair to go off and be totally selfish, wandering into stores I won't take the kids in, perusing the shelves at the library, enjoying a coffee on my own in silence and leave Chris to hold down the fort? He doesn't get days like that. He goes to the Episcopal Men's Conference once a year for a weekend, but he's still sharing a hotel room with someone and surrounded by people all day.

Plus, I'd much rather spend time with him. The caveat is that I want to spend time with him without the kids interrupting. I want to go wander in stores with him, share a coffee with him and peruse the shelves with him (though he'd rather go to Borders than the library; he's a buyer, not a borrower). That doesn't happen often because sitters are expensive and the grandparents don't remember to offer to sit often.

So my guilt keeps me at home, doing things I ought to do but don't really want to do. Like make Halloween costumes. Or vacuuming.

For the moment, I should be happy. Chris is helping Timo make his Halloween costume downstairs and the girls are outside playing with Jan and Frank's littlest grandkids. They're all happy. I ought to join in as well.